As a Kinky Dominant, this is “My why” I enjoy playing with embarrassment, humiliation, and degradation. Humiliation is one of many of My favorite fetishistic activities that is commonly misunderstood.
Yes, it’s a “Power thing” and one of the many ways I like to feel superior in a scene. To emphasize “the why” I like playing with this powerful emotion consensually together is because I love laughing with (or at) someone. Laughing feels good! Especially in an erotic, “roasting/flirty bullying” way I find consenting sexy-time humiliation can be a quite intimate bonding activity. Seriously.
In a general vanilla context, laughing is a great way to create closeness (intimacy) with someone. As a Top laughing at (or with) you as it’s a great way for Me to destress and relax.
For the bottom, there can be several motivations. Perhaps being humiliated to entertain as an act of service, to show inferiority, to keep humbled. Regardless of the motivation, I find that many of My bottoms love mixing that physiological pain and pleasure. Works well with My emotional sadistic tendencies, like cheese and wine.
Regardless of the individual motives, scene, or even of the role (Top or bottom) having a good laugh FEELS GOOD and can be contagious. Have you ever been roasted by a friend that just was “poking” at you just for a fun reaction? Take that concept, add some sexual undertones that’s already a recipe for some FEEL GOOD KINKY STUFF.
For those who believe that “sexy time” and “humor” don’t mix, I’d really evaluate why you believe that. I personally think humor and sex go very well together as both are vessels to FEEL GOOD. If you’re new to humiliation or curious but hesitant set your ego aside.
Relax, have fun (with knowing your boundaries) and know humiliation kink isn’t just about ‘personal attacks’ on your genitalia or personal character. (but it can be if W/we negotiate it.) It’s really just sexy-time roasting, teasing, poking at the rib and can have varied intensities just like hot sauce.
Still unsure? Maybe start small to get the ball rolling. Perhaps wear a silly hat (like a dunce cap), embarrassingly nonironic band t-shirt (That you say it’s ironic in front of your friends but *I* know it’s your favorite band. LOL!) try a new prop or toy as W/we start to experiment together.
As a Top, I honestly feel that those kinky endorphins mixed in with silly laughing ones is such a mood enhancer. Also having O/our own inside jokes can be really special and heighten O/our dynamic.
I love to laugh and love those jester-like comedians that have submissive tendencies. LOL!